X

Bridesmaid Dress Etiquette: Who Pays and How to Choose (UK Guide)

Ordering bridesmaid dresses UK is one of those wedding planning tasks that can feel both exciting and slightly nerve-wracking. You want your bridesmaids to look beautiful and feel comfortable, but navigating the etiquette around who pays and how to make decisions can be tricky. If you’re planning a UK wedding, understanding the traditional customs and modern approaches will help you handle this aspect of your big day with grace and consideration.

Bridesmaids in coordinated dresses at UK wedding

Who Pays for Bridesmaid Dresses in the UK?

Here’s where UK and American traditions differ significantly.

In the UK, it’s traditionally expected that the bride and groom cover the cost of bridesmaid dresses. This stems from the idea that if you’re asking someone to be part of your wedding party and wear a specific outfit of your choosing, you should pay for it.

This is quite different from the United States, where bridesmaids typically pay for their own dresses. If you’ve been watching American wedding shows or reading international wedding blogs, don’t be surprised if you encounter conflicting advice.

Modern Variations

While tradition says the bride pays, modern UK weddings show more flexibility. Some common arrangements include:

  • Bride pays entirely: The most traditional approach, where the couple covers all dress costs
  • Split arrangement: The bride pays for the dress, bridesmaids cover shoes and accessories
  • Bridesmaids contribute: In cases where budget is tight, bridesmaids may offer to pay or split costs
  • Gift consideration: Some brides count the dress as the bridesmaid gift

The key factor is often the relationship and financial circumstances. Close family members like sisters might expect the bride to pay, while friends may be more flexible. If you’re having financial constraints, it’s perfectly acceptable to have an honest conversation with your bridesmaids early on.

Communicating Payment Expectations

Whatever you decide, clarity is essential. Have this conversation early, ideally when you first ask someone to be a bridesmaid. You might say something like:

“I’m so thrilled you’ve agreed to be my bridesmaid! I wanted to let you know that we’ll be covering the cost of your dress, but we’d love for you to choose your own shoes and accessories to match.”

Or, if you need bridesmaids to contribute:

“I’m so grateful you’re standing with me on my wedding day. I wanted to be upfront about costs—the dresses I’m looking at are around £150. Is that manageable for you? I’m happy to discuss other options if that’s too much.”

Setting a Reasonable Budget

If you’re paying for bridesmaid dresses, you’ll need to factor this into your overall wedding budget. In the UK, bridesmaid dresses typically range from £50 to £300, with most falling between £80 and £150 for high street options.

Consider the full picture of what your bridesmaids will spend:

  • The dress itself
  • Alterations (usually £20-£50)
  • Shoes (£30-£80)
  • Accessories like jewelry or wraps
  • Hair and makeup if you’re requiring professional styling
  • Hen party costs
  • Travel and accommodation for the wedding
  • Your wedding gift

If your bridesmaids are paying for or contributing to their dresses, be mindful that they’re likely spending several hundred pounds on your wedding overall. Choosing a dress at the lower end of your budget range shows consideration for their wallets.

bridesmaid dress budget breakdown chart

How to Choose Bridesmaid Dresses

Timing Matters

Start looking for bridesmaid dresses about 6 to 9 months before your wedding. This gives you time to:

  • Browse options and gather opinions
  • Order dresses (which can take 3-4 months from some retailers)
  • Allow for alterations
  • Handle any unexpected issues

Leaving it too late can mean rushing decisions, paying premium prices for quick delivery, or settling for something you don’t love.

Check out our guide to: When Should You Shop for Bridesmaids’ Dresses?

Deciding on Your Level of Uniformity

One of your first decisions is how uniform you want your bridesmaids to look. Options include:

Identical dresses: Everyone wears the exact same dress in the same color. This creates a cohesive, formal look and simplifies shopping.

Same style, different colors: Particularly popular for mixed bridal parties, where you might have a color palette rather than one shade.

Mix-and-match: Choose a color or fabric, and let bridesmaids select different styles that suit their body type. This approach has become increasingly popular and photographs beautifully.

Coordinated separates: Some brides choose skirts and tops that can be mixed, offering flexibility while maintaining a unified look.

Considering Different Body Types

Your bridesmaids likely have different heights, shapes, and style preferences. A dress that looks stunning on one person might make another feel uncomfortable. Consider:

  • Offering 2-3 pre-approved styles in the same color
  • Choosing universally flattering cuts like A-line or empire waist
  • Avoiding extremely trendy styles that some bridesmaids might dislike
  • Being open to modest variations if someone has religious or personal preferences

Remember, a comfortable bridesmaid is a happy bridesmaid. If someone feels confident and beautiful, that will shine through in your photos far more than perfect uniformity.

Choosing Your Color Palette

When selecting colors, think about:

  • Your overall wedding color scheme
  • What will photograph well
  • Seasonal appropriateness (jewel tones for winter, pastels for spring)
  • Colors that complement different skin tones
  • The formality of your venue

Popular UK bridesmaid colors include dusky pink, sage green, navy, burgundy, and various shades of blue. Neutrals like champagne, taupe, and dove grey also work beautifully for elegant weddings.

Check out our guide to: The Complete Guide of How to Pick Bridesmaid Dresses

Popular UK Shopping Options

The UK offers excellent options for bridesmaid dresses across all price points:

High Street Favorites

Marks & Spencer: Reliable quality, wide size range, and styles that can be worn again. Prices typically £79-£149.

Coast: Elegant, sophisticated styles perfect for formal weddings. Expect to pay £95-£250.

Next: Great for budget-conscious brides with decent quality. Prices around £40-£100.

Debenhams/Frasers (formerly Debenhams): Multiple brands under one roof, making comparison shopping easier.

ASOS: Excellent for mix-and-match options with their dedicated bridesmaid section. Very budget-friendly at £30-£100.

Bridal-Specific Retailers

Dessy: American brand with UK stockists, offering a huge range of colors and styles. Around £150-£220.

JJ’s House: Online retailer with custom sizing options. Budget-friendly but order well in advance. £60-£150.

Kelsey Rose: UK-based with elegant designs. Prices from £99-£199.

Little Mistress: Gorgeous embellished options, particularly good for evening weddings. £80-£160.

Happyprom: Trustable and Affordable Online retailer with free custom service. Price from £70-£120.

Bridesmaids shopping for dresses in UK boutique

Bespoke and Independent Boutiques

If your budget allows, independent bridal boutiques can create custom dresses tailored to each bridesmaid. This ensures perfect fit and unique designs, but expect to pay £250-£500 per dress.

Online vs In-Store Shopping

Online shopping offers convenience and often better prices, but comes with risks around fit and color accuracy. If shopping online:

  • Order fabric swatches first
  • Check return policies carefully
  • Allow extra time for potential exchanges
  • Read reviews about sizing and quality

In-store shopping lets your bridesmaids try before buying, but may limit your color and style options. Many brides use a hybrid approach: browsing online together, then visiting stores to try on shortlisted options.

Check out our guide to: In-Store vs Online Prom Dress Shopping

Making the Selection Process Smooth

Getting Everyone Involved

While you have the final say, involving your bridesmaids makes them feel valued and helps avoid disasters. Create a WhatsApp group specifically for dress chat and:

  • Share your vision board or color scheme
  • Post links to dresses you’re considering
  • Ask for honest feedback about budget
  • Request measurements early
  • Set a deadline for final decisions

Organizing Shopping Trips

If your bridesmaids live nearby, a group shopping trip can be fun. Book appointments at 2-3 stores, make a day of it with lunch, and take photos of everyone in the contenders.

For bridesmaids scattered across the UK or abroad, virtual shopping works well. Use video calls while browsing online together, or have everyone order the same few dresses to try at home and share photos.

Setting Clear Deadlines

Wedding planning involves many people and moving parts. Set clear deadlines for:

  • Initial feedback on dress options (6-8 months before)
  • Final decision and measurements (5-6 months before)
  • Ordering dresses (4-5 months before)
  • First fittings for alterations (6-8 weeks before)
  • Final fitting (2-3 weeks before)

Build in buffer time for inevitable delays or issues.

Navigating Common Challenges

Managing Expectations When You’re Paying

If you’re covering the cost, you have more say in the final choice, but resist the urge to be dictatorial. Your bridesmaids are doing you a favor by standing up with you, and they deserve to feel heard.

That said, if you’re paying, you can be firmer about your vision while still being considerate about comfort and style preferences.

Handling Budget Constraints

What if a bridesmaid confides she can’t afford her share? Options include:

  • Choosing a less expensive dress for everyone
  • Offering to pay for hers as your bridesmaid gift
  • Suggesting she look for the style secondhand
  • Being flexible about her wearing something she already owns in your color scheme

Never make someone feel embarrassed about money. Your friendship is more important than dress uniformity.

Distance Bridesmaids

For bridesmaids abroad or far across the UK:

  • Choose retailers with good online ordering and returns
  • Have them order early in case alterations are needed
  • Use a local seamstress on their end for fittings
  • Consider brands that offer custom sizing
  • Send fabric swatches by post so they see the true color

Last-Minute Changes

Sometimes bridesmaids lose or gain weight, become pregnant, or circumstances change. Build flexibility into your timeline and budget. Retailers like ASOS and many high street shops offer quick delivery if emergency replacement is needed.

Weather Considerations

British weather is notoriously unpredictable. Consider:

  • Providing wraps, shawls, or cardigans for outdoor photos
  • Choosing appropriate fabric weights for the season
  • Having a backup plan for rain (umbrellas can be part of photos!)
  • Comfortable shoes for potentially muddy gardens or countryside venues

Check out our guide to: What Should I Consider When Choosing Bridesmaid Dresses?

Budget-Friendly and Alternative Options

Hiring Bridesmaid Dresses

Dress hire services have become popular for bridesmaids, offering designer dresses at a fraction of retail price. Companies like Hirestreet and By Rotation rent formal wear starting around £30-£80.

Benefits include:

  • Significant cost savings
  • Access to high-end designers
  • No worry about storage after the wedding
  • More environmentally friendly option

Downsides:

  • Less flexibility for alterations
  • Strict return deadlines
  • Potential issues if dresses are damaged

Mix-and-Match High Street

Instead of matching dresses, give your bridesmaids a color swatch and let them choose high street dresses within your parameters. This approach:

  • Allows everyone to find something flattering and comfortable
  • Can be more budget-friendly
  • Results in dresses they’ll actually wear again
  • Creates an effortlessly coordinated look

Popular for relaxed, bohemian, or garden weddings.

Check out our guide to: How to Coordinate Mix-and-Match Bridesmaid Dresses

Mix and match bridesmaid dress styles in sage green

Sample Sales and Outlet Shopping

Bridal boutiques and department stores hold sample sales where you can snag designer dresses for 50-70% off. These usually happen in January and July. The catch? Limited sizes and styles, and dresses may have minor imperfections.

Conclusion

Navigating bridesmaid dress etiquette in the UK ultimately comes down to communication, consideration, and flexibility. Whether you follow the traditional route of paying for dresses yourself or adopt a modern cost-sharing approach, the most important thing is being clear and kind.

Remember that your bridesmaids are standing beside you because they love you and want to celebrate your marriage. While you want your wedding to look beautiful, your relationships matter more than perfect aesthetic coordination.

Start early, communicate openly about budget and expectations, consider everyone’s comfort and preferences, and approach the process with gratitude for the people who’ve agreed to be part of your special day. Do this, and choosing bridesmaid dresses will be a joy rather than a source of stress.

Your bridesmaids will remember how you made them feel far longer than they’ll remember the exact shade of dusty rose they wore.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Do I have to pay for my bridesmaids’ dresses in the UK?

A: Traditionally in the UK, yes, the bride covers the cost of bridesmaid dresses. However, modern weddings show more flexibility. The key is to discuss expectations clearly when you ask someone to be a bridesmaid. If budget is a concern, it’s acceptable to ask bridesmaids to contribute, but this should be discussed upfront.

Q: How much should I budget per bridesmaid dress?

A: UK bridesmaid dresses typically cost £80-£150 from high street retailers, though you can find options from £40 (ASOS, Next) up to £300+ for designer or bespoke options. Don’t forget to budget for alterations (£20-£50) if you’re covering all costs.

UK Bridesmaid Dress Costs:

• High street (ASOS, Next): £40-£100

• Mid-range (M&S, Coast): £80-£180

• Bridal boutiques: £150-£300

• Bespoke/Designer: £250-£500+

Q: When should I start shopping for bridesmaid dresses?

A: Begin looking 6-9 months before your wedding. This allows time for ordering (some retailers take 3-4 months), alterations, and addressing any issues that arise. Leaving it later may force rushed decisions or expensive rush fees.

Q: Should all my bridesmaids wear the same dress?

A: Not necessarily. While matching dresses create a uniform look, many modern brides choose mix-and-match styles in the same color, coordinated colors in the same style, or even just a color palette with complete freedom. Consider what suits your wedding style and your bridesmaids’ different body types.

Q: What if one of my bridesmaids can’t afford the dress?

A: Have a private conversation and offer solutions: choose a less expensive option for everyone, pay for her dress as your gift to her, help her find a secondhand version, or allow her to wear something she already owns in your color scheme. Never make anyone feel uncomfortable about finances.

Q: Can bridesmaids wear different styles?

A: Absolutely! Mix-and-match bridesmaid dresses are increasingly popular. You can give parameters (same color, same length, same fabric type) while allowing each bridesmaid to choose a style that flatters her body type. This often results in happier bridesmaids and dresses they’ll actually wear again.

Q: Who pays for bridesmaid dress alterations?

A: This varies. If you’re paying for the dresses, you might also cover basic alterations. If bridesmaids are paying for their dresses, they typically cover alterations too. Some brides split the difference. Discuss this when you discuss the dress budget.

Q: Should I require my bridesmaids to have professional hair and makeup?

A: Only if you’re paying for it. Requiring bridesmaids to pay £100-£200 for professional styling on top of other expenses can be a financial burden. You can offer to pay for everyone, pay for one service (like hair) and let them do the other themselves, or make it completely optional.

Q: What about shoes and accessories?

A: You can either specify exact shoes and accessories (and provide or pay for them), give guidelines (“nude heels, any style”), or let bridesmaids choose what they’re comfortable in. Many brides find that coordinating dress color matters more than identical accessories, especially in photos.

Q: How do I handle a pregnant bridesmaid?

A: Choose maternity-friendly styles (empire waist, A-line, wrap dresses) or allow her to order a maternity version in the same color. Order later in her pregnancy to ensure proper sizing, and be prepared with a backup plan if she needs something different closer to the wedding.

Q: Can bridesmaids rent their dresses instead of buying?

A: Yes! Dress rental services like Hirestreet and By Rotation are great options, especially if you’re asking bridesmaids to pay. Designer dresses can be rented for £30-£80, much less than purchasing. Just ensure rental return dates work with your wedding timeline.

Q: What if my bridesmaids live far away or abroad?

A: Choose retailers with good online ordering and return policies. Send fabric swatches by post, use video calls for virtual shopping, and allow them to use local seamstresses for alterations. Brands offering custom sizing or ready-to-wear options like ASOS work well for distance bridesmaids.

Q: Is it rude to ask bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses?

A: In the UK, it’s less common than in the US, but not inherently rude if you’re upfront about it. The key is clear communication from the start and choosing reasonably priced options. Many bridesmaids expect to contribute to some wedding expenses, but they should never be surprised by costs.

Q: What happens if a bridesmaid drops out after ordering her dress?

A: This depends on timing and circumstances. If possible, the bridesmaid should cover the cost of a dress already ordered. However, if she’s dropping out due to serious circumstances (health, financial hardship, family emergency), consider whether pursuing payment would damage the relationship. You might resell the dress or find another bridesmaid to wear it.

Q: Should I let bridesmaids keep their dresses after the wedding?

A: Yes, bridesmaids keep their dresses. Whether you paid or they did, the dress is theirs after the wedding. Choosing styles they can wear again shows consideration. Rental dresses, obviously, must be returned per the rental agreement.

Related Post